finding light in the macabre: a meditation on the comfort of darkness

bright truths from dark places

Hello, darkness, my old friend.

It’s 2021, and I’m alone in a small house in the middle of nowhere, Appalachian, Ohio. My wife is traveling for work at the moment. COVID-19 is in full swing; it’s an incredibly isolating, confusing part of my life.

Every night, after a day of schoolwork, taking care of my pets, and not having many opportunities to speak to people out loud because I’m not currently working, I find myself devouring horror stories.

Ari Aster films and Stephen King novels quickly became insufficient, so I started diving deeper. I became obsessed with the Hellraiser franchise. I wolf down a plethora of B-grade horror films that range from Mandy (great movie, by the way) to Killer Klowns from Outer Space (less good, still fun) to Creep (horrifying and excellent), and I reread Mark Danielewski’s House of Leaves (well worth the effort to read).

Why is this terrifying, creepy content so comforting? I know I am not alone in feeling this way and that many people take solace in movies, TV, books, clothing, imagery, and music that encapsulate darkness and the macabre.

Let’s start with the appeal - why are so many of us drawn to the dark?

I can, of course, only speak for myself. So, I will say that these themes we repeatedly see in horror, of death, impermanence, decaying, and uncertainty utterly fascinate me. Mostly because I don’t think I really understand them (thus, the uncertainty of it all).

These are incredibly frightening themes for so many of us, and I think for me, facing these themes feels much more honest and refreshing than sugarcoating or completely ignoring them.

Horror often famously includes complex themes of sexism, racism, war, rape, abandonment, mental illness, etc. Some examples of this include:

• Get Out’s intense portrayal of white privilege, exploitation of black bodies, and racism.

• The Taking of Deborah Morgan’s themes of aging, dementia, and the complete loss of self.

• The House That Jack Built covers misogyny, mental illness, and toxic masculinity and how it can arise from social rejection and mental disorders.

• Suspiria has deep themes of femininity and motherhood juxtaposed with generational guilt during the Cold War and the overall theme of evil.

• The Shining, an incredibly well-known horror novel and movie, has central themes of the terrors of alcoholism and the corrosion of families.

There are multitudes of other examples; this is certainly not an exhaustive list - these are movies that I have personally seen that really resonated with me.

Horror provides an excellent creative landscape to dig deeper into topics that are already difficult to consume, as horror is often difficult to consume. The gothic atmospheres, the haunting cinematography, the writing, and the shadowy allure of this content somehow make it easier to watch, read, and digest the content that encapsulates much deeper human themes that most of us would rather avoid or forget.

I think there’s also something to be said about how pretty, polished, and overly positive mainstream media and the majority of the internet are. Take one look at the comment section of someone who isn’t conventionally attractive on TikTok, or God forbid, find someone sharing an honest, nuanced take on any subject and watch the majority squirm.

This constant push for toxic levels of upbeat positivity, “good vibes only,” brand-friendly/marketable (thank you, capitalism, you relentless bitch!) content on both the internet and the big screen seems to almost dismiss real-life human struggles. By filtering out the ugly, the grotesque, and the horror of it all, we are limiting the exploration of the human experience in the media we consume.

Now, of course, there are plenty of examples of horror content that is considered ‘digestible’ by the general public. But it still allows very real suffering and issues to come to light in its content, and it is seen by even more people than the independently produced stuff.

In short, I think embracing the macabre is so intriguing (and even comforting) to a lot of us because it gives us a more grounded, realistic view of our world. Horror and gothic content provide us with a much more nuanced perspective where beauty and hardship coexist, just as they do in our lives.

The macabre isn’t about glorifying suffering (at least not always; I would argue that movies like A Serbian Film and Martyrs really jumped over that line) but about recognizing that life’s complexities, more often than not, lie in its shadows.

Thank you so much for reading. If you made it this far, please let me know what horror movies and books you’re watching and reading this fall - I need recommendations!

I love you all. Take care of each other, and stay safe.

-k.